Ohmygod! We did it!
Today officially marks the final day of our Expedition.
Honestly, I feel such a sense of relief right now. It has been a fairly grueling Expedition for me and I am very, very happy to be bringing it to a close today.
Grueling, yes. Challenging, yes.
Totally worth the effort? Absolutely.
Yesterday I wrote a bit about how my flailing varied from my original intentions.
Today, I want to share some of the insights I gathered along the way with particular attention to my chosen theme for these 40 days.
So… Vision.
First, a recap: in this post I talk about how little conscious attention I was giving my theme. Then, just over a week ago, I wrote about how insights and clues are finding their way to me anyway.
This past week has continued that trend, with more and more understandings about myself and how I relate to my work and my life emerging.
And, it is now clear that I’m not truly in need of or seeking a vision for my life and work. I already have it. I know what it is. I carry it in my heart.
What is needed is for me to trust the vision that I do have.
I’ve been floundering, feeling lost, and craving some super concrete, clear, detailed path to follow – both for my business and my life.
What I finally realized, nearly 40 full days into the Expedition, is that all of my floundering, feeling lost, and desperately seeking a Vision (or a path or a goal or whatever you want to call it) is this:
All of that floundering was simply a distraction from actually following what feels right in my heart and in my body.
As long as I allowed myself to believe I didn’t know what my next step was, I didn’t have to take it.
I was safe. I didn’t have to venture out in the unknown, take any risks, or do the new, more challenging things life is asking of me now.
So, here I am now, at the end of this Expedition, basically where I began.
Only now, I have deeper trust in my own instincts.
And now, hopefully, I will be able to actually take the steps that are before me vs pretending I don’t see them and searching for something else.
I think that is all I want to say about that.
Before I go, though, I have a thought about upcoming Expeditions and a question or two for you as well.
40 days is a LONG time. I like Expeditions of this length because they do require a LOT of focus and commitment and those are two things that seem very important to cultivate to me.
However, leading these Expeditions requires a lot of time and energy from me – especially if I am posting daily.
And, it seems that people drop off pretty quickly after the first couple of weeks which can make things feel a bit lonely.
**Thanks so much to Beth and Kalyani for visibly – through the comments – sticking it out with me through the entire Expedition. You rock!**
Therefore, I’d like to give a mini-expedition (10 days perhaps) a try next – most likely in the fall.
I’m curious what might happen if we commit to a shorter version of this Expedition.
My questions for you:
1) I’d love to hear how your 40 days went. How long did you continue? What came up for you? How did your theme influence and guide your Expedition?
2) Was it helpful having me post daily? Any suggestions or changes that would be more inspiring and supportive for you?
3) Do you think a shorter Expedition would be beneficial for you?
Thank you!
To all of you participating whether actively or passively, thank you! I so loved reading your comments and hearing about your experiences on this Expedition.
Truly, knowing you were out there flailing and/or reading is what made it possible for me make it through these 40 days.
And now, I can’t wait to do it again!!!
*much love*
Hi Larisa! First off – huge thank you for leading and for posting every day. Even if I was at level zero most days, it was so helpful to get the posts in my inbox and at least have a conscious conversation with myself about why I was or was not practicing and what was going on for me. This is a really hectic time in my life, and I probably need the shiva nata more than ever, so it has been interesting to explore my relationship with the current resistance mode I’m in. Not sure what happened to my themes of play & permission except I gave myself a lot of permission not to practice. There’s a lot here about burn out and exhaustion and how hard it is to access play or even to let myself do things that are normally good for me when I’m operating from a state of depletion… but I’m too tired to even try to work through that right now.
I would do a 40 day expedition again over the summer as my circumstances will be different. A shorter one would be great too. I definitely plan to participate again in them anyway. Thanks again and congratulations on posting every day – that is super-impressive!!
You’re welcome. It is really great to hear that you were noticing/reading the posts and that they were helpful for you. It sounds to me as if it was a valuable Expedition for you and that your theme was perfect for where your life is at right now. I wish you rest and ease over the next few weeks.
Thank you SO much, Larisa! I am so grateful to you. Your posts were incredibly helpful for me, not only to ward off the sense of isolation but also to help me frame the Expedition experience. You are truly gifted. I’m also a little more than freaked out that the same issue of TRUST (in the answers you have) came up for me!!
I’d love to try a shorter Expedition, if you want to post everyday, or we could go to posting every week after the first week. I’m happy to try 7 days, 10 days, 21 days, 30 days, whatever. If it were 10 days, I might want to try it more often….like once a month? Once every two months?
Or what if we just try ONE night? Like a virtual ceremony…pick a celestially auspicious time, then we all do it at the same time (with rolling time zones) and post about it. Maybe two nights a month – full and new moon!! Or a weekend? Like a virtual retreat? One weekend a month sounds do-able?
Anything we do is beneficial for me! I’m flexible!! Thank you!!!
Ooo… great ideas! Thank you. I’m going to take a break from thinking about anything Shiva Nata or Expedition related. When I return, I shall reread your comment and then we’ll chat!
And, thank you so much for all of your comments and posts. Yes, it was super helpful for me to know that your were out there flailing, reading and writing too.
Yay! Finish line and completion! I’m so grateful for the community and posts for the encouragement and reminders – thank you so much for posting. I’m happy for myself having completed the 40 days in a way I feel happy about.
Insights relating to my theme, stepping in? Yes, many, and not quite in the direction I was thinking. I knew, in many ways, it was a too-challenging theme – if I could easily step into the ideal me, I’d be her already. But reaching for it – and not really that actively, it was more a “thinking about reaching for it” – was a great way to figure out what were real desires, what were shoulds, and what was just crap. And I found a way to frame what I’m about in a way that is making me tingly with excitement (and a little incoherent, at the moment – posts and website revisions coming as I clarify!)
I’m hoping to continue daily flailing – one thing I was surprised by in this expedition was how _truely_ inexhaustible the variations are – I think I was still worried about that subconsciously. Lowering the bar to posting and flailing – I deliberately didn’t set any goals besides moving a bit and writing a thought or two – made it far easier to get started every day.
I really really liked the format, personally. 40 days was long enough to feel like things were really changing, without leaving things hanging. A shorter expedition would also be great – or if we did the 40 days again, maybe a few of us could collaborate – trade off weeks of posting, or pre-writing and posting a little encouragement for each day ahead of time? I’m flexible too, and too grateful for the company and community to want to let it go.
Cheers and thanks to you, Larissa, for hosting us, and Kalyani for all your support and encouragement, and everyone else for following along too!
I can’t *wait* to see how your website and approach changes thanks to your insights around ‘stepping in.’ That is such a huge theme. I could (personally) spend a decade with that as a theme and most likely still not be finished with it!
And, thanks for your suggestions as well. I too love the 40 day format. I will be rereading your comment also after my (perhaps extended) break – napping in my imaginary hammock.
“And now, hopefully, I will be able to actually take the steps that are before me vs pretending I don’t see them and searching for something else.”
Ummm. This is SUCH a thing for me. It was uncanny to read your words on this. Big kudos and congratulations for writing throughout your entire process (whew!) I’m so inspired by all of you & this expedition – I would love to play next time, in whatever format.
Nice to know I’m not the only one that struggles with this pattern. Thanks much for your comment. And yes! Absolutely! It would be delightful to have you join us next time!
OMFG. I typed a long and thoughtful response. When I entered my email address, it took me to a WP login page, where I couldn’t remember my password, so then I hit the back button and it was ALL gone. Strangely, the chaos that has defined my life for the past several months meant I greeted this loss with a tiny, wry smile (hello, retrograde-type pattern, you’re losing your oomph).
Quick summary:
Larisa, the daily gentle reminders helped me get unstuck in several aspects of my life that had gone missing months ago. “Gratitude” is too small a word for what I feel when I reflect on what a wonderful a leader you are and how much you continue to inspire me. I like the suggestions Kalyani made about possible future expeditions (BTW. I am in awe of the energy Beth and Kalyani have!) When you are ready, I’d love to try to challenge some of my stuck around writing and actually show up for the next expedition.
Much love,
Casey